‘Violent Pup and Strange Box Brown’ by Linwood Storm [Multiverse Myths]
Disclaimer: The tale that you are about to read has been illegally extracted from the Orion Five’s incomplete galactic archives and therefore any information provided in it should be deemed non-canonical concerning historic databases that document alternate timelines for educational purposes due to the possibility of third-party alterations.
Trigger Warning: Contains Brief Graphic Violence, Sexual Content, References to Rape, and Strong Language
His assigned name was Henry Brown, but several universes would know him as “Strange Box Brown”. On Earth 3/12, he was a slave in America until 1849, the year when he would arrange to have himself mailed to freedom. James C. A. Smith, a free Black man, had been in correspondence with Lord Saiid, an infamous escaped slave who had been successfully initiating revolutions across hundreds of plantations, and requested assistance. Lord Saiid directed him to Samuel A. Smith, an extraterrestrial referred to as a copyrat because of their facial resemblance and ability to shapeshift into similar species. This copyrat had morphed into a white shoemaker because on his planet, ‘Ratopia’, he was also a slave to an Equine Gestapo under the Takox Zaltar Empire, who had escaped, via sneaking on into an interdimensional freight train of small boxes. Samuel and Lord Saiid worked very closely in their attempts to abolish slavery at the time, however, they both knew that the war might become worse before it settled down.
After sabotaging the interdimensional freight train, Samuel A. Smith landed on Earth, and only one of the boxes was salvageable enough to be repaired. His. Using technology that Lord Saiid once gathered during his secret travels, they fixed the copyrat’s box and stored it somewhere that could be uncovered if there needed to be an emergency call for reinforcements. Lord Saiid felt that time coming and told Samuel A. Smith to inform Henry that he would be willing to help if he brought back help from other worlds. Henry did not know exactly what Lord Saiid had meant but nonetheless agreed as he wanted his liberty soon.
Henry climbed inside of the box and Samuel A. Smith typed in the specific multiversal docking port that it would be sent to, on its computer. The universe that Henry would be transported to first was labeled ‘Earth-AMC’, a counterpart world that affects its inhabitants and visitors unlike any other. Samuel A. Smith activated Henry’s box, watched the container as it levitated, and stepped back so that the device’s warp engine could prepare to shoot itself into space. Henry’s box soared upward like a rocket being launched from NASA in the 24th century and caused a minor earthquake in their vicinity. Henry had no idea that he was on a cross-country trip across the galaxy or that it only took half the day to arrive at his destination.
Earth-AMC has been described as an amalgam of a socially advanced version of the wild west dominated by matriarchal governments and “rejected science-fiction concepts from the mind of a perverted teenager”. While the uniqueness of Earth-AMC rivaled that of Earth-3/12, because civilizations progressed efficiently, Mundiaus saw no cause to quarantine it. Despite gender roles being aggressively reversed on the planet, the positions were commonly welcomed by the populace and their cultures because laws were in favor of all different types of people. This alternative Earth often considered the “melting pot of realities”, received many intergalactic foreigners, survivors, and ex-pats because of its hospitality. Pills shaped like penises called “Dictcapsules”, were consumed by those who wanted to be permanent residents because they brought their brains up to speed on the entirety of accumulated knowledge available on the planet. These raised one’s intelligence quotient, however, their emotional quotient stayed the same. Therefore, abhorrent lawlessness is still plentiful and an equal amount of opposition by peace officers was still found necessary.
The most globally revered peace officer went by the codename ‘Violent Pup’. He was a 6’7 Samoan male who notoriously wore a robotic black and white puppy-hood while sporting a black sweater vest over the finest white satin dress shirt. His slim black khaki pants weren’t tight enough to keep his 14-inch penis from creating quite the distracting print. Various suspects tasted the heel of his black leather boots and Violent Pup did not hesitate to release rage if their blood spilled on his shoes’ perfect white laces. He trended on social media for months as #MetrosexualDaddy” because the great number of female groupies that the officer spent nights with publicly disclosed his admirable grooming habits. Violent Pup always kept a smartwatch on his right wrist during these sexual encounters because he viewed intimacy in a way that a heavyweight champion of the world might strive to knock out their opponent in less than three rounds.
There has only been a single woman who could last longer than thirty minutes in bed with ‘Violent Pup’ and that is his 4’11 short sadomasochistic Sergeant Eve “Itami” Newman. Eve is a Japanese, Swedish, and South African woman who was conceived at a Build-A-Baby center after mandatory mass chemically male castration legislation was approved. Babies on Earth-AMC are grown in artificial wombs and parents are capable of modifying every detail of their child per traits shared between them. Sergeant Eve Newman’s birth was evaluated as the program’s first success and she has excelled by matching the simulated predictions of her life’s events based on her genetic makeup When she was a member of the youth organization Girl Scouts, the former troop effortlessly earned all of her badges, including one for performing fellatio on a well-behaved elderly death row inmate on the national holiday “Reform Day”. Eve sported a vintage pixie cut and usually wore black sleeveless turtlenecks to match her lipstick. She also loved commuting pantiless underneath a gothic buckle-up skirt and flashing would-be rapists in order to provoke them into a situation where she could kill them with her custom-made gunsword by claiming self-defense in court.
At twenty-eight, Eve discovered Violent Pup when he was a toddler living among dogs in the gutters of Huntington City. His face was violently scarred from fighting them to earn their respect and she adopted the child as her own. Violent Pup is legally recognized as Eve’s pet and Indentured servant because he lacks certification identifying the universe that he originated from. Although he can roam Earth-ACM freely with a specialized collar around his neck, his life purpose is to be Sergeant Eve Newman’s personal enforcer and seek justice for those who cannot by any methods vital to doing so. Violent Pup’s most notable means to acquire information from female suspects is state-sanctioned rape. His abnormally massive schlong falls under allowable use of force, and in Violent Pup’s Precinct’s gym, he trains his tool to withstand an incredible amount of torture while erected.
Sergeants Eve will fluff Violent Pup as he’s on all fours, prior to him lifting up a volunteer cheerleader while standing with his hard cock deep inside of the high school teenager, with his hands tied behind his back. Then, Eve will stack another volunteer cheerleader on top of the first and repeat until Violent Pup’s dick can’t handle the weight while she flogs him from behind with a bullwhip. It has been reported that he can hold up six cheerleaders and rhythmically pump them for thirty minutes to old-school Hip-Hop. It has been reported that Eve rewards Violent Pup at the end of monthly private massage sessions with her by letting him hump the sergeant’s bare oiled and tan legs until he spills his seed. He never fails to imitate the loud howls of a canine-in-heat after releasing his “jing”.
Violent Pup was the first of Earth-AMC to meet Henry because the United Galactic Postal Service noticed that the former slave had an unauthorized tracking number and they alerted the peace officer’s Precinct to their multiversal docking port. Violent Pup entered an emergency password on the box’s computer to open it, since the unlock feature was disabled, turned on his robotic puppy-hood’s flashlight because it was midnight, and found Henry sleeping soundly in a fetal position like a baby. Violent Pup growled fiercely, woke Henry up from his harmonious slumber, and analyzed him using an app in his robotic puppy-hood that pinpointed what universe the newcomer was from.
“It seems as though you are the first cocksucker from Earth 3/12…business or pleasure, weirdling?” Violent Pup inquired as he reached into the box and pulled Henry out of it. All of a sudden, Henry felt the urge to vomit and puked on the ground for three minutes straight. Violent Pup backed away so that none would get on his shoes. “Great…more bulimic stowaways to babysit, that’s just what I asked for, Mrs. Claus.” Violent Pup handed him a Dictcapsule to swallow and Henry took it.
“What is…this?” he asked.
“Your annual medication…now take it so I can drop you off somewhere.” Violent Pup answered. Henry struggled to get the Dictcapsule to go down his throat without water but eventually managed to. Violent Pup lifted Henry up, threw him over his shoulder, walked to his hovercycle, and place Henry on the back of it before getting behind the wheel.
“Your headache will pass.”
Violent Pup drove off to the 88th Precinct and Henry’s brain adjusted to being rapidly updated. Henry’s mind became overwhelmed and he passed out on Violent Pup’s back.
“Am I still dreaming on the plantation or did I really just meet a giant whose face looks like Snoopy’s dipped in tar?” Henry thought as he regained consciousness.
…”Who the fuck is Snoopy and what the fuck does fuck mean…oh!” Henry’s brain finished configuring itself to the Dictcapsule’s downloads and he opened his eyes to see that he was in an all-white painted temporary holding cell with modern clothes on.
“Strange Box Brown!” said a cellmate laying on the top of a bunk bed. “I hear negro blood tastes like merlot and gives us an instant buzz.” The cellmate climbed down from his mattress, displayed his vicious-looking fangs as they extended, and licked his lips. This cellmate was a Vamparian, from Earth 3/12 as well. These mutants were the result of an event known as “The Storm” and they had all of the characteristics of vampires, except for transforming into a bat or frying under the sun’s light. Violent Pup walked down their hallway, approached the holding cell that they shared with a claw hammer, and lightly banged on its bars.
“My spooky-ass friend behind you is hungry, Henry, so I suggest that you tell me everything that I want to know and more as a gratuity.” Violent Pup said tossing his claw hammer inside of the holding cell between Henry and the Vamparian prisoner. “The face is wooden, Henry, so you can either use it to bash that abomination’s skull in, or he can snatch it and rip a hole in your neck.”
“Why are you doing this?!” a terrified Henry said as he dove for the claw hammer, grabbed its handle, and pulled back the modified construction tool back before the Vamparian prisoner could steal.
“My sergeant recently punished me by changing the password to her Cinemoors account, and a subscription would cut into my wet food budget.” Violent Pup explained as Henry swung at the Vamparian prisoner’s face and knocked him out with the first blow to its cranium.
“Is he dead?!” Henry asked. Violent Pup opened his holding cell, grabbed the claw hammer from Henry, and repeatedly slammed the wooden face of it into the Vamparian until he could see his cerebral matter. Henry’s eyes widened in shock and Violent Pup tucked the claw hammer into his pants and then straightened his clothing. “Now he is, Strange Box Brown.” Violent Pup finally responded. “Based on your universe’s outlined trajectory, slavery in the United States will be ending soon, but if you seek refugee–“
“We seek reinforcements.” Henry cut off Violent Pup. “Lord Saiid sent me to–“
“I know of the immortal.” Violent Pup cut off Henry. “He’s sent you on a fool’s errand and it would unwise to return to your universe considering the fact that it’s headed toward an oblivion of paradoxes due to his incautious time-traveling.”
“Are you telling me to leave the life that I’ve known behind and just accept that I can’t see my family again?” Henry asked.
“If I were to send you back, while it may feel like no time to you, your family would have been casualties of Lord Saiid’s war against your oppressors.” Violent Pup said. “The good news is that we can replicate them as holograms automatically constructed by your memories and accurately set them to age up ’til their predestined deaths in a universe where you all survive”.
“How is playing make-believe going to fucking make me feel better, you stupid furry?!” Henry yelled at Violent Pup before having a mental breakdown. “Eat shit then.” Violent Pup cheekily responded and picked Henry in the air by his shirt’s back collar.
“Just send me back to die, man!” Henry cried as a laughing Violent Pup led him through the hall and outside of the precinct.
When all was said and done, Henry a.k.a. “Strange Box Brown” learned to embrace Earth-ACM as his new home planet. Huntington City placed him in a government-funded studio apartment and he was provided a job as a stand-in at a Cocknursing Arena. These facilities contain small-scale rooms with spaced-out holes that men enter their pecker through from the outside of them for competing women to suckle and drain for points. These employed stand-ins are required to remain erect for each hour that they are working to earn a full paycheck. The players are typically former adult actresses or high-end call girls looking to have their talents broadcasted to billionaire bidders looking for the best intimate experience. Mason Summers, a Puerto Rican scream queen turned international pornstar, remained champion of the sport before her voluptuously-shaped Afro-Italian intern Gianna Cashmere beat the score that she had set.
Henry was trying to save enough so that he could afford the “Deceased Relatives” hologram package that Violent Pup had mentioned. Unfortunately for him, his penis was deemed unappealing by audiences because of its microscopic length and he was fired after two months of working.
Henry’s next job was being a dinosaur wrangler. He quit after almost being killed by a resurrected Appalachiosauru and then chastised by his manager for complaining to Human Resources about the safety hazards that were ignored.
The former slave’s third job had him as a manual rickshaw driver for spoiled actors in Hollywood. Rickshaw drivers were paid very little, however, the benefits outweighed the less-than-stellar wages. Henry would meet Violent Pup again in a week of having the position because the peace officer would be filming a documentary about him streamed under the title ‘Off the Leash: The Beast of Goddesses’ on Cinemoors’ broadcast multicast service. Violent Pup introduced Henry to the cameras as “Strange Box Brown” and the producers of the film liked the name’s backstory so much that they decided to dedicate a significant portion of the picture’s runtime to Henry’s journey.
This propelled Henry “Strange Box” Brown into stardom. The former slave became a celebrity with a comic book mini-series, an animated show about going on fictional missions to other universes, a live-action loose adaptation starring American actor Willard Gibson III as Henry Brown distributed by the independent entertainment company ‘B35′, and a toyline that frequently sells out. In less than three years, Henry generated over twenty billion Cuntcoins from his ventures and briefly topped Guus Makuto on Alakijas’ list of biggest philanthropists. Surprisingly, Violent Pup wasn’t envious or jealous, and he was immensely supportive of Henry’s accomplishments.
Sergeant Eve “Itami” Newman wasn’t.
She felt that a former slave should not have been able to amass such a fortune because she believed that propelling victims to fame through entertainment perpetuated the notion that suffering is the only way to prosper on Earth-AMC. Eve devised a plan to have Henry framed for the murder of Gianna Cashmere and her death became the most publicized crime of that century. Gianna’s body was found naked in Henry’s convertible sofa bed, bound by duct tape, with a prosthetic pig nose on her face, and the words “Cum Slut” written in cursive on her size 38F natural breasts with a black marker with a spiked 17-inch horse dildo smothered in cocaine plunged deep inside of her asshole. Gianna Cashmere was identified promptly by the tramp stamp on her lower back showing a tattooed Black Widow spider with a purple-colored hourglass hanging from a line of a web that started from the bottom of her neck. In the eyes of the media and Gianna Cashmere’s friends and family, she was killed as revenge for Henry being fired when he worked as a stand-in at a Cocknursing Arena. Her tombstone read: “The Greatest Dick-Sucking Daughter in the Galaxy”.
In court, Angie D. Lloyd, a telepathic psychiatrist, testified that she could not find evidence that Henry murdered Gianna Cashmere after an extensive mind-reading session, but prosecutors posed the possibility that his self-admitted heavy alcohol drinking habits could have led to him blacking out and losing memory of the night in question. This tactic would have nearly swayed the jury if it weren’t for the shoddy forensics, lack of witnesses, and Henry’s concrete alibi being brought to their attention by Henry’s lawyer. Still, this did not heal his tarnished reputation and he had all but one of his contracts terminated because of the negative attention that the case begot. The career of “Strange Box Brown” was considered officially over by news outlets, and although he was acquitted, thousands of protesters continually harassed him.
“Justice for Gianna!” they would shout as they marched their cities with picket signs in one hand and 17-inch horse dildos in the other. No peace officer bothered to quell the disturbances, except for Violent Pup, who seldomly cared about witch hunts but had a suspicion that the true killer was free, and he or she wasn’t Henry. A few days of investigating himself led to finding a barring resemblance between the spikes that were on the horse dildo that penetrated Gianna Cashmere and the metal of Sergeant Eve “Itami” Newman’s gunsword’s blade. If it had not been for her sword maker confessing on a now-defunct internet forum that she ordered specifically crafted spikes that were virtually untraceable, Violent Pup would not have stumbled upon the revelation of this conspiracy.
Violent Pup confronted Eve in her soundproof office with his claw hammer in hand and told the Sergeant that he knew everything and that the peace officer was arresting her for first-degree murder. Rather than comply with detainment, Eve Newman kneeled before him and performed seppuku.
“Why?” Violent Pup asked as he crouched to hold her in his arms as organs spilled onto the floor while the wound sprayed his upper half with blood.
“It’s in my nature…my programming,” Eve answered Violent Pup before sadly looking him in his eyes and removing his robotic puppy-hood. “You know what to do, officer.”
A single tear rolled down Violent Pup’s right eye and he stood up.
“Yes, ma’am.” he quietly said.
Violent Pup proceeded to strike the top of her head with the face of his claw hammer over and over again. Her head was a disgustingly gory shell of dangling strips of flesh, broken bones, and cerebral matter. Violent Pup then removed her gunsword, wiped every inch of it clean, opened her office door, and calmly walked out with his dead sergeant’s weapon as the man’s fellow peace officers watched in awe, but dared not act.
“Moogle, play ‘Down with the Queen’ by Walk CMD, please,” were Violent Pup’s last words before walking out of the 88th Precinct.
Now hated by the majority of everyone on Earth-AMC, Violent Pup and Henry “Strange Box” Brown reunited at the same multiversal docking port where they had originally met each other. The two outcasts were both on the same page about finding another parallel Earth to live the rest of their existence on. They agreed that Earth 3/12 was still out of the question and searched on the computer of a stolen interdimensional transport box for a decent counterpart. Henry almost accidentally selected Earth-V until Violent Pup smacked his hand away.
“You…don’t get to decide, my naive partner.” Violent Pup said as he continued scrolling through their options.
“Hands in the air, you goddamn mutt!” yelled someone from far away. Violent Pup and Henry turned around and saw undercover peace officers dressed as United Galactic Postal Service employees. This spooked Henry and he bumped into the interdimensional transport box’s computer so hard that it started to glitch.
“Fuck it, we’ll figure out where to pick later.” Violent Pup said as he tossed Henry into the box, hit a random counterpart Earth on its computer screen with his finger, and jumped inside of the container before it closed. The space that they shared was cramped but safe, as the box closed and activated its warp engine. The undercover peace officers ran far away to put distance between them and the minor earthquake that was inevitable because the jump pad forcefields in the center of the multiversal docking port hadn’t been switched on. The combined weight of Violent Pup and Henry was too heavy for the interdimensional transport box to carry so it shook tremendously as they began to scream in agony. It is theorized that time and space tore them apart after the transport box purportedly imploded.
Apparent sightings of them have also been reported on planets in various universes. Spectators and fans who claimed to have met them all say that they are stuck in an intergalactic teleportation loop that haphazardly rematerializes them on multiversal docking ports. The Satanic Temple speaks of this as truth, but also mentions the likelihood that the constantly-bored deity Lord Cameo is using them to solve problems that it cannot and that the two are trapped in a quantum purgatory since cosmic interference has not been detected by their ‘Orb of Ultimate Vision’. Pictures and video clips that have been supposedly taken of them show blurs of bright light. Recorded sounds of their voices are conveniently either scrambled or inaudible.
What has been established is that the mystery behind Henry “Strange Box” Brown and Violent Pup’s disappearance is the reason why Earth-AMC indefinitely shut down the planet’s United Galactic Postal Service departments. Administrations everywhere feared a hypothetical invasion of their world by way of hacking technology that facilitates interdimensional travel and wanted to take precautions to avoid having a devastating World War as well. This decision of theirs was wise, as treacherous and despicable intergalactic bounty hunters would sprout from the trenches of the worst parts of the multiverse. These hunters can be silent bag-and-tag cowboys or deadly assassins who don’t mind being dramatic with their executions.
A new cryptocurrency called “Snipecoins”, developed by William C. Moorcock on Earth 3/12 became worth more than Earth-AMC’s Cuntcoins, and if you aren’t affiliated with “the law” of a planet, you can be wanted dead or alive for anything as long as the complete reward had been deposited in a non-private escrow. Virtual leaderboards glorified the proficient warriors and encouraged them to reach the highest score to become the ‘Number One Killer’. A status they all wished to hold because of the money and notoriety that followed. The loophole of a victim’s bounty raising their killer’s own did not deter participants in the “Multiverse’s Most Dangerous Game”.
The dirty business of bloodshed had reached an unfathomable new height.