Behind Closed Doors with a Perverted Poet [NSFW]

“I’m a pervert, a poet, I ain’t a saint, and I know it. Been a crook and cooked the books but never shorted no whores.” — Killer Mike on “Panther like a Panther” by Run the Jewels

If you’re even remotely familiar with my work, you will have already concluded that I’m quite comfortable with my own sexuality, exploring limits within a bedroom with female partners, and having enough experience to discuss the psychology, causes, or ramifications of certain behavior that’s considered taboo in modern society. My willingness to experiment within bounds that I’ve set has attracted many women who desire a man that’s secure with himself, provides comfort, and gives them experiences that make for a worthwhile memory in their journey of self-discovery. I’ve also been considered a rarity in communities because of my ethnic background, “old fashion values”, and progressively flexible tendencies, which I attribute my studies in psychology to. I have a personality that consists of dominant traits, I stand by habits that allow me to maintain peace in my life, and spread enough room for change that benefits growth.

I naturally gravitate toward the role of a mentor, however, I wouldn’t be sharing the entire truth if I didn’t mention how my partially religious upbringing in the Jehovah’s Witness faith taught me that men are to lead and women are to follow. Despite agreeing with the general population that both genders should have equal rights, I do still hold on to that belief. Every relationship that I l dictated the terms of was smooth, for the most part, if the woman was raised to be submissive. Those that weren’t feminine, would be combative at times, seem to seek agitation in a power play, and lacked proper etiquette in the household or in public. I’m not attracted to masculinity nor wish to seriously compete with the opposite sex. The unfair advantage that I, as a man, have is undeniably apparent, so I always establish what I expect, no matter the nature of the relationship. If she chooses to decline my proposal once all of the cards have been laid on the table, that’s on her. If there’s a decision made by a woman to leave after the fact, there’s typically another prospect waiting in line.

Relationships of any sort are better to look at through the eyes of a businessman. There will always come a day when the topic of negotiation will arise again, and one party demands more than what they’ve been receiving. I don’t mind this, but I also don’t give an inch unless there will be an exchange of equal value. I’ve had friends with benefits inquire about getting into relationships and they all became stumped or insulted when asked a simple question that’s quite common in the game: “What do you bring to the table?” One of them assumed that I would ecstatically take “the next” step due to her often cooking and cleaning for me. I told her that if I was already getting those benefits, “why would I need to commit myself to only you?” Another woman that was interested told me that she “only has sex in a relationship”. These two women were and are extremely promiscuous. I learned that while women control sex, men are the gatekeepers of relationships. Sex is a temporary pleasure, while relationships provide security for as long as they last, whether it’s fundamentally emotional, financial, or physical.

I had a one-night stand with a twenty-three-year-old married redhead that I was talking to for a handful of days. I’ll call her “T”. She is/was going through the process of divorce and shared with me that her husband did nothing wrong except work too hard. This woman decided to leave a hard-working man and primary breadwinner because he didn’t give her enough attention. I was taken but not shocked. “T” wanted freedom from security and started an explicit OnlyFans. I was informed by her after we met as she was under the impression that the latter would bother me if she foresaw a relationship. I told her “No” since I knew a relationship would never be permissible and “T” then forewarned me before she drove an hour over to my abode that we wouldn’t be having sex because she doesn’t sleep with anyone during their first meeting. We did, in fact, have sex that night. Nothing more came from our encounter because I became romantically involved with someone I deemed companionable. Although, I did keep in mind how I’ve been accurate about primal urges overriding patience, and the guise or promise of labels assist in masking our savage intentions as a species as we all want to feel like we have a purpose. Men create and give purpose that women attach themselves to for self-preservation and reassurance. Therefore, it is unnatural to promote the reverse without being aware of the consequences.

Perhaps previously having been in two short-term Dom/Sub relationships with hippie Wiccans who toked up like it was their oxygen opened up my eyes to how we are meant to function or warped reality to fit a perspective that suits my story as a God playing puppeteer writes it. There’s no doubt in my mind that abiding by the foundation of structure has given everything that I cherish fulfillment. Unsurprisingly, almost everyone I personally know has mentioned to me that I may have less than mild OCD, and while I’m inclined to see the points they’ve made, I’ve found there to be more advantages than shortcomings regarding how it affects my daily routine. I cannot operate without setting order and this extends to the relationships that I have. My current significant other is happy to follow my lead and since she has a father in her life with similar ideals as myself, whom she respects, there is a natural transfer of power when I take charge. There is usually hostility when attempting to do so with a woman who was raised by a single mother for a variety of reasons. The obvious is that the daughter fails to see the logic in serving a man and will fight to be his equal, resulting in dissatisfaction because her actions aren’t biologically normal. So, the daughter has no father figure example to “settle down” with and will either abuse a mate that she feels is inferior or grow old while feeling alone. The latter tends to project rather than reflect on her own choices in fear of a mental breakdown.

In general, I actively draw from every single memorable encounter that I have as what I like to refer to as “genuine inspiration”, much like Harvey Pekar, the writer of autobiographical comics titled ‘American Splendor’, and I credit my methods of writing to being more of an extrovert than introvert. Living in a cabin off-the-grid is a dream and a goal at some point, but I gain a lot of energy from socializing, whether the outcome of that is positive or negative. Continuing to curate my life as time goes on is still a top priority, however, completely disconnecting from civilization would deprive me of quality material to base stories on or incorporate in what I’m working on. Storytelling should be an unpredictable chain of events with relatable situations instead of following trends that consist of beat-by-beat actions meant to trigger specific results. Escapism is fine for momentary stress relief, however, the brain isn’t intellectually engaged, even if there is excitement. This is ultimately what concerns a lot of filmmakers who aren’t impressed by the average superhero movie. The genre relies on tropes to “play it safe” until it can subvert them for a grand scale ordeal.

Wash, rinse, and repeat the righteous propaganda of inconsequential fantasy that’s clung on to by those looking to recapture their childhood. I hate to agree with Alan Moore, but I’ve come to the same conclusion as he did. Anything that tries to be more is a perversion and inevitably will be the subject of criticism. Clearly, I am fond of the genre because of my introduction to it through the biggest two major publications such as Marvel and DC Comics, but I can’t discount the fact that it’s restrictive, which is why I rarely touch it. I don’t want to be questioned on whether or not what I’m writing is “appropriate”. If James Cameron’s Spider-Man script in the ’90s garnered comments like “creepy” because there was a scene where the titular character has sex with Mary Jane after “webbing her down” to simulate mating practices of actual spiders, there’s no possible chance that I’ll be allowed to operate freely in that world. Hell, Disney and Marvel’s 2021 superhero film ‘Eternals’ tried to partially market itself as being the first of the MCU (Marvel Cinematic Universe) franchise with a sex scene. I’ll never be able to fathom how we are comfortable with violence but not intimacy in cinema, but it is truly a reflection of our dysfunctional relationship with humanity.

I recall laughing with an ex-girlfriend from years ago while we were reading ‘Fifty Shades of Grey’ and remarking on how tame it was in comparison to our roleplays through text when we were away from each other. Much like a fight scene, sex can be entertaining, but context is what stirs conversation. ‘Straw Dogs’, ‘A History of Violence’, and Zack Snyder’s ‘Watchmen’ feature layered sex scenes that are unnerving for different reasons and heighten tension instead of serving themselves as titillating filler. When sex is treated as shameful, or a casual deed and nothing beyond that, it cannot be used as a tool to thoughtfully procreate or pair bond through introspection. That’s not to say that I don’t like to have fun, but the best sex that I’ve had was with partners with who I connected on an open level and “spiritual” became one. Submissive men, but more so women, love to reenact experiences through the perspective of another’s previous partner because the energy binds them closer. I’ve had sex with quite a few women who were turned-on hearing details of how I was intimate with another, so they could imagine themselves in her shoes. I’m not referring to cuckolding, which feeds into a humiliation kink. These women weren’t humiliated. They reveled in the pleasure given by a man their emotions praised as desirable, increasing satisfaction knowing their tasting what others assessed to be worth embracing as well.

I swear on the graves of my ancestors that I wear a gold wedding band on my middle finger because I like the way it looks, and although it’s the wrong finger for a married man, I still get asked by women if I’ve tied the knot. Several of these women have let me know that it doesn’t matter if I am because they are still captivated by me. I don’t condone cheating or participating in it, to protect myself, but it was interesting to witness how maturity and stability are valued but selfishly not respected. I’m currently in a monogamous relationship, but my default preference is polyamory and I harshly vet candidates so I can quickly “get to the point” or save time from being spent on what’s predestined. Frankly, I don’t see why I should be nice about it, but I have had to “ghost” a handful of women who showed signs of being unhinged, desperate and vindictive. I’ve lost count of the number of angry voicemails that I’ve saved to prevent false allegations, dangerous circumstances, and deter harassment. You never know the full extent of damage that another’s animosity may cause until it’s too late.

As a writer, I love structuring BDSM and relatively vanilla roleplay scenes to get my creative juices pumping. It can be as simple as pretending to be a teacher and student or an eccentric scenario involving someone who’s been poisoned by a “Beijing cocktail”, so he/she has to keep their heart rate up through sex. I’ve pulled influence from many of my favorite films, including ‘Hanzo the Razor: Sword of Justice’ and ‘The Lover’. When it comes to how many elements can exist during a scene, the sky is the limit if they do not offend the boundaries of the parties taking part in it. Diving into a blasphemous realm might not disturb me, but a partner whose faith is intertwined with their identity normally will feel unsettled. Even in the case that religious-themed role-play doesn’t, an example such as acting out The Violation of Dinah (Genesis 34:2) might bother the individual if they are a rape victim.

What about raceplay?

The very last thing you might want to hear is someone calling you an ethnic slur while dominating or submitting to them unless that rough dialogue has been discussed beforehand and approved of. Maurice McKnight, who performs in the adult industry under the name “Moe The Monster”, sued a production company and director of a shoot after withholding consent to be called the N-word while filming and his co-star Deborah Hinkle/Ryan Conner ignoring his right not to be, by ad-libbing “Give me that nigger load. Give me all that nigger cum”. Now, I don’t judge 80-85% of fetishes and kinks, so I won’t be giving my opinion on this particular one, but I will say that I also make it clear that this word is not to be used, even as a term of endearment that’s devoid of racial connotation, because yes, there are Black American women who will use it that way in the bedroom. We’re all adults, therefore, to each their own.

Being a woman’s “Daddy-dom” is one of mine, and no, it is not the same thing as being a “sugar daddy”. As an entrepreneur, I encourage ownership, and gravitate toward a caretaker role in my romantic relationships. I enjoy seeing my significant other wear a ring, pendant, or collar that we’ve agreed symbolically represents that she’s been taken under my wings and abides by my law. It’s ego-stroking and admittedly fills me with masculine pride by speaking to my gender’s biological imperative. The arrangement also enforces a dynamic that’s congruent with our species’ evolution. Contrary to the popular belief, there is no incestual component and the base principles can be applied to a relationship without the labels used to generally describe the proposal in sex-positive communities. If you’re a switch or submissive, “Mommy-doms” also exist. Nine times out of ten, I prefer being the captain of my own ship, but whatever floats your boat and brings you happiness.

With that stated, I simply suggest always doing your due diligence and listening to your “gut feeling”. Abusers prey upon naivety, codependency, and insecurity. These people can be of any race, gender, sexuality, religion, or age. There was an incident that occurred and I had to advise a close friend to drop a “brat” of his. It was no different than another situation where a man’s wife relished the responses she captured after emotionally tormenting him. There’s a difference between playfulness and cruelty. There are people who defend their conduct as the former when called out about it. Both parties must listen to one another, especially the one who holds control over the other. It’s extremely important to walk away if you feel that this is not happening and you’re not being taken seriously before things escalate to a dangerous affair. Having a grounded conversation about safewords and aftercare should be obligatory, not awkward. You should not feel negatively drained, trapped, or afraid of saying “No” or leaving.

If anyone has any questions, feel free to leave them below, and please be aware that domestic hotlines are available.