My Journey into Semen Retention (30+ Days) as a former Porn Connoisseur [NSFW]
“I don’t ejaculate for six weeks before the fight. No sex, no masturbation, no nothing. It releases too much tension. It releases a lot of minerals and nutrients that your body needs, and it releases them cheaply. Releasing weakens the knees and your legs. Find a lion that hasn’t had some food for a while, and you’ve got a dangerous cat. So there won’t be a drip from me. Even in my sleep — if there are girls all over me in my dream, I say to them, “I’ve got a fight next week, I can’t do anything. I can’t do it.” That’s control. I’ve been doing that since I was fifteen and it’s part and parcel of my preparation now. That’s why I’m am who I am today — it’s down to all those little sacrifices. Find me another boxer who makes that sacrifice, and you’ll find another champion.” — David Haye
It should be very evident from my mature work, that I don’t ever shy away from sexuality or taboos in western culture. To a degree, I’m quite exploitative and push boundaries of what’s considered sensitive, much like the grindhouse genre of cinema, so I feel that being transparent regarding this topic of discussion is important. Similar to my past as a carnivore who would gorge on balut without thinking twice after being told the delicacy is an aborted duck fetus before becoming a vegan, I was once obsessed with pornography and sex. Before cable, Jet magazine’s ‘Beauty of the Month’ was my primary spank material growing up. Then pixelated breasts on television series that would include ‘The Man Show’, ‘The Howard Stern Show’, and ‘Pants-Off Dance-Off’. When the family had satellite, I had access to erotic films like ‘Y Tu Mamá También’, ‘The Lover’, ‘Beyond the Valley of the Dolls’, and ‘The Dreamers’. I had VHS tapes that I would use to record scenes of titillating content from entertainment that I viewed, for later. Eventually, came the internet, and owning my own laptop followed shortly after.
The result was having extensive knowledge of the adult film industry through several methods of research that led to an interest in adult actresses crossing over to feature-length films in casual roles, whether Hollywood or independent like Sasha Grey in ‘Girl From The Naked Eye’, Céline Tran a.k.a. Katsuni in 2017’s ‘Jailbreak’, Ashlyn Gere in ‘The One’, or Marilyn Chambers in David Cronenberg’s ‘Rabid’. The notion that someone must be strictly relegated to sex-related casting simply because they chose to perform sex on camera as a professional career was and still is ludicrous to me. If Jackie Chan can act in two adult films before becoming one of the biggest martial arts superstars in history and Sylvester Stallone succeed as a well-respected American action hero, why can’t we take others who have done the same seriously, regardless of era, when they would like to transition in any field other than sex work?
My father was overprotective and passive-aggressive, so there was no meaningful “talk” outside of explaining how human biology works. One day, I had literally received a sticky note on my bed because my youngest brother had told him that I had created a comedic machinima with a very brief scene showing two naked characters who lacked genitalia, kiss, and falling back into bed off-screen. My father used the note to communicate to me to remove the video. I recall also receiving a Skype message saying “Stop watching porn. :)” when I was fifteen because the router would alert him via email about any sites that drew red flags. Needless to say, he was embarrassingly far from a good communicator. My mother was a hands-off parent, so there was no wisdom to be imparted from either. My addiction to masturbation during my teenage years was likely due to a mixture of hormones, lacking a mentor close in age, and finding myself as an individual.
Believe it or not, I was an introvert and some could say anti-social which possibly stemmed from being raised in a conservative household where the Jehovah’s Witness faith was the governing religion. Both of my parents displayed abusive behavior and when questioned, my father would repeat rhetoric such as the paraphrased line “I’m allowed to do as I please as I’m not breaking any of God’s laws”. Even in my youth, I found his words to be a load of bull and an excuse to exert power over his children as I always believed he felt emasculated by my mother. They were two sides of the same transgenerational trauma coin and defending myself was often met with attempts to shame under the guise of quelling a rebellious phase.
The more I studied and learned, the less I respected them as guardians. Education was the path toward freedom in my eyes and I began to reject religion upon having what one might refer to as an existential crisis. My personality evolved and when I was eighteen, I had met an older woman twenty years my senior who shared a similar sex drive. This on-and-off toxic relationship bound by strange sexual chemistry would last for four years. During breaks, I would see other women around my age who didn’t exactly have my love for exploring the rabbit hole of sex but would satisfy my desire for a romantic connection. My confidence as a well-spoken lover continually attracted various long and short-term partners who were attracted to my experience with experimentation, involving BDSM (Bondage and Discipline, Dominance and Submission, Sadochism and Masochism) at times, in the bedroom. I didn’t slow down until my mid-twenties when I started to have more pregnancy scares, notably with women with who I would not want to have a child.
I came to the conclusion that perhaps I needed to control my urges and redirect them. I also realized that I had never gone a single day without masturbating and/or watching porn before! I discovered No-Fap, which seems to derive from semen retention and Taoism beliefs. I decided to go without either for four days and noticed I was more reactive in public environments. If I were to reach two weeks, I felt as though I was more in tune with my surroundings and those in it. Not to mention I was a lot primal toward the lovers in my life. Not to sound crazy, but throughout my runs, I would see the numbers 4:44, 11:11, 5:55, and 4:20, common with those who believe in numerology. At first, I brushed it off as a coincidence until it was creepy. My dreams would also be more vivid and I would have shocking nightmares that perplexed my psyche with one incident involving what I could only describe as the personification of a succubus on top of me while laying in bed. These were enhanced by taking the supplements zinc, maca root, fenugreek, and Korean Panax ginseng.
Recently, I’ve been on a 30-day streak to aid me in training for an upcoming ultramarathon. I’ve been practicing coitus reservatus with a handful of partners. For those who aren’t aware of what coitus reservatus is:
“Coitus reservatus, also known as sexual continence, is a form of sexual intercourse in which the penetrative partner does not attempt to ejaculate within the receptive partner, but instead attempts to remain at the plateau phase of intercourse for as long as possible, avoiding the seminal emission.” – Wiki
Since smoking marijuana for the first time, I’ve become a regular user when in the company of certain people and I have had the pleasure of being high during sex on numerous occasions. When I reached the peak of intoxication, I maintained an erection without a second thought, and the sensation was unbelievably increased. I believe I also managed to orgasm without ejaculating. Of course, I recommend wearing a condom and using other methods of birth control too, if possible. While most STDs are curable, you do not want to be stuck with one that might not be and will harm your health. I’ve been fortunate enough not to catch anything, but playing Russian roulette with your body isn’t smart. I make sure my partners and I have been tested before engaging in any activity so that there aren’t any worries on my mind. I also ask a set of questions that may seem uncomfortable for most to disclose answers to, but are very necessary and appreciated by sexually active parties. Communication, honesty, and trust are vital to a properly functioning relationship, so I encourage open dialogue.
I rarely watch porn these days because of how distracting and mentally disruptive it can be, so while I have an external hard drive full of classics just in case there’s an ‘A Boy and His Dog’-like future where women are scarce, I won’t be indulging in adult content like I do other cinema as a cinephile. Curating my life and staying busy with tasks that contributed to having success in areas that I wanted to see progress in was key. Note that I don’t condemn sex, masturbation, porn, or women, however, I see that there needs to be moderation or removal if any, if need be, for as long as required. The responsibility to fix ourselves relies on us and trying to attack society in order to mend a personal problem doesn’t bring about change. Setting an example by sharing your experiences and how you overcame a roadblock does. Using your beliefs, whether traditional, religious, or spiritual, to justify mistreating others who don’t follow the same path stagnates growth within.
Have you tried NoFap, Semen Retention, and/or Coitus Reservatus? Comment below and let us know! Just remember, “Black Men Don’t Cheat”!